Menschwork’s BrotherKeeper Online Magazine (July 2025)

In this Issue of Menschwork’s BROTHERKEEPER Online Magazine:

Greater Boston Mensch Day 2025

The second Mensch Day event sponsored by Menschwork was held in the Boston area on June 8, 2025 at Temple Beth Zion in Brookline, MA. Thirty men attended which began with singing and an opening drash by Rabbi Moshe Waldoks. His talk was followed by a panel discussion called Mensches in Action-Hear The Call, an inspired panel discussion featuring Les Fagen, Steve Lewis, Robert Kaim and Mitch Gordon. Attendees participated in a Mishpacha Group and a choice of four Pathways offerings. David Strauss and JoJo Kottler led a spirited closing circle. Thanks to all who attended, to the organizers and the program leaders.

The idea for Mensch Day was conceived by JoJo Kottler. It debuted in Philadelphia in Spring, 2025. The event organizers included an experienced team of JMR veterans: Robert Kaim, Mark Dwortzan, David Neiman and Allen Spivack. Additionally, TBZ member, Mark Dinaburg, and TBZ clergy, Rav Tiferet Berenbaum, offered invaluable assistance in planning the event. We are grateful to everyone for ensuring that Mensch Day was a resounding success!

Steve Lewis Reflects on his Experience
at Greater Boston Mensch Day 2025

I want to appreciate the wonderful experience I had at the Greater Boston Mensch Day on June 8th! I have been involved in the activities of Menschwork in a few different ways. I’ve attended three JMRs, have co-facilitated a MenschGroup for the last three years, and participated in the Temple Beth Zion Men’s Group (who graciously sponsored Mensch Day) for many years.

Greater Boston Mensch Day was very meaningful and connecting. I was a speaker in the opening panel discussion in which the four panelists shared our menschlikeit journeys. There was much singing, meditation, and sharing through one-on-one conversations as well as in mishpacha groups. It is always lovely to be part of a group of men which has its own unique energy level.

I was one of the men who shared in the panel discussion and acknowledged how I was strongly influenced by two wonderful family members: (1) a very devoted older sister, and (2) an incredibly dedicated father who made me feel so cherished for who I uniquely was. In addition, my life was changed by a transformative experience in responding to a Stage 4 cancer diagnosis at the age of 54.

In particular, facing my mortality at a relatively young age, I became much more involved in the non-tangible forms of healing (meditation, visualization, a Hitbodedut practice from Mussar, hypnosis). Most importantly, I realized how precious my life and my time was. Time is quite precious! I focus my effort now on using my time productively and in ways that benefit others.

Toward that end, in my retirement I do much volunteering with vulnerable populations. The most meaningful volunteering has been mentoring men incarcerated who are getting a college degree behind bars. In this setting, my mentees have been incredible men who have had to endure abusive childhoods as well as overcome many years in prison to
become very warm and caring individuals who mentor other men, have written children’s books, and have written lovely poetry. I have learned so much from these men!

I am very grateful to the men who organized Greater Boston Mensch Day, and especially for providing us all with such a safe and engaging experience!

HELP Wanted! Volunteer Now!

• Website Director- maintain the Menschwork website and recommend and implement upgrades. Contact Harold Belkowitz at webmaster@menschwork.org to discuss ongoing responsibilities.
• Marketing Director-manage the annual marketing campaign for the JMR and assist with other promotional campaigns. Contact JoJo Kottler at CommunicationsDirector@menschwork.org to discuss the duties and responsibilities.
• Online Magazine Editor- Develop content for and publish Menschwork’s semiannual online magazine, Brotherkeeper. Contact Allen Spivack at allenmspi@theothermanofsteel.com to discuss the duties of the magazine editor.

Don’t Delay. We need you! We look forward to hearing from you!!

New Sculpture to be Unveiled at JMR34

To mark his personal milestone of attending his 30th JMR, Allen M. Spivack created a sculpture called Brotherkeepers. The tabletop sculpture measures 32”w x 36”h x 14”d. The sculpture honors the transformative power of the JMR experience and the ways in which men have been nurtured and mentored over three decades. The sculpture will be on display at JMR34.

A JMR in Japan? Unlikely…
Toshinori (Toshibo) Kanaya

EDITOR’S NOTE: My wife, Sherry Grossman, and I joined a tour of Japan in
November 2024. Part of our reason for traveling to Japan was to meet my friend in
Hiroshima, Toshinori (Toshibo) Kanaya, with whom I’d cultivated a six-year email
friendship (visit my art website, www.theothermanofsteel.com, to read more about how Toshibo and I became friends). I’ve discussed with Toshibo my long-time participation in Menschwork and the Jewish Men’s Retreat. Toshibo is a retired psychiatrist and the author of books on such diverse topics as ancient Japanese historical personalities and the atomic bomb. I asked Toshibo to share his perspective on how men in Japan connect with each other. Here is his reflection.

One day, I was asked by this magazine’s editor to write something related to the Men’s Retreat. He is my respectful, close friend, so I gladly accepted his offer. However, I am Japanese and also not a member of your group. Therefore, I’m not sure if what I write will be of any use to you. Anyway, I would like to talk about the situation in Japan.

First of all, there is no concept of ‘Men’s Retreat’ in my country. So, we cannot make a simple comparison between your country and Japan. There are many reasons why a system like yours (sponsoring a retreat and other men-related activities) is not
widespread in my country. I think that one of the reasons why is the specific spirituality of the Japanese people. Japan is an island nation in the Far East, surrounded by the sea, and she had almost no contact with foreign countries for nearly two thousand years, except for absorbing Chinese culture. This environment has given rise to a unique spirituality in the Japanese people.

When people of the same ethnic group live together in a small country for a long time, they become able to communicate with each other telepathically. In other words, they can understand each other’s thoughts without having to communicate anything to each other, and they may not feel the need to form groups and talk to each other or help each other.

Furthermore, until half a century ago, the Japanese family system was dominated by large families, for example, with three generations living together. Therefore, when a man retired from work when he grew older, younger family members would naturally take care of him. It was expected that the children would care for their aging parents. This position for the man in his family is called “in-kyo.” This term literally means that one retreats (“in”) and lives (“kyo”). Thus, it is common that he will spend the rest of his life surrounded by his many family members.

However, the extended family system of living together has changed dramatically and now the nuclear family system, like in Western society, has become the norm, leaving fewer places for older men to live. In fact, Japan, as well as other developed countries, is currently facing the serious problem of a declining birthrate and an aging population. As a result, it is true that this change has led the elderly in my country to choose a different direction than before, but it doesn’t seem to have altered their spirituality. Therefore, not a few of them live alone and don’t seem bothered by that. I think that it is not so much their stoic way of life as their inherent spirituality, their deep connection to the support that is offered by the Japanese culture.

What if these retired men can no longer live alone? Fortunately, there is a public nursing care insurance system to support the elderly. All citizens over the age of 40 are required to pay an insurance premium to support the nursing care system. When I think of Japanese spirituality, the community such as the ‘Men’s Retreat’ might not develop in the future either. This may be hard to understand for non-Japanese. If we were to forcefully apply the Western definition of the ‘Men’s Retreat’ to Japan, it would probably mean men being together at a hot spring, doing yoga, or going trekking with a close friend.

MenschGroups Prepare For The Future

MenschGroup is the second most attended Menschwork program after the JMR. Currently over 30 men meet twice a month in facilitated, Jewish-based Zoom groups to provide men with an opportunity to listen to and support each other in these ‘at-home’ mishpacha groups.

So what’s the big news? We have taken a major step forward into the future by creating a MenschGroup Leadership Team to help grow and further formalize this exciting program. Our Leadership Team links our group facilitators and some Wisdom Council members so we can plan for our future growth and ensure the stability and quality of our groups. The team includes Chris Taranta, David Shaw, Donald Gardner, Les Fagen along with program coordinator, Marc Jacobs.

The Leadership Team’s current tasks including developing a project management master plan (Donald Gardner); documenting current and past procedures (Chris Taranta); enriching our connection with the JMR (Marc Jacobs); and developing an approach that enhances the group process (Les Fagen and David Shaw).

As these initiatives are put into action, the Team expects to move into other areas of improved service to our groups. We plan to formalize group processes, expand facilitator training and recruit additional facilitators. We intend to streamline our registration and recruitment processes. Over the next few years, we are excited to share our MenschGroup model of brotherkeeping with other Jewish groups.

If you’d like more information on these exciting developments or would like to help us move forward on a particular goal or task, please contact Marc Jacobs at this email: MenschGroups@MenschWork.org.

As we begin our new 6-month sessions this month, consider joining a MenschGroup. Please click on the purple button below to sign up. We eagerly look forward to your participation!

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JMR34 Planning Team Update

EDITOR’S NOTE: The theme for JMR34, Heaven is all Around Us: Jewish EcoSpirituality and the Cultivation of Awe, will offer us an opportunity to consider what EcoSpirituality means in our lives from a Jewish perspective. In this issue of Brotherkeeper, we  explore the concept of EcoKashrut. Visit the Menschwork website for more details about JMR34.

When I think of what Kashrut (Jewish dietary laws) is supposed to help us with, it occurs to me that we are asked to be ethical in our relationship to the animals that we are permitted to kill for our food. That word, kill. How does one ethically kill? Well I’m no Shochet (butcher), but I do know that death should be painless and quick. There is an argument that even eating meat is up for grabs in our tradition. But what if we consider as part of EcoSpirituality a more holistic approach to what we eat. Cultivating a sacred relationship with how our food  is grown, sourced, prepared and consumed is the essence of EcoKashrut!

What is the ecological price we pay for the food on our table? Is blessing our food before and after we eat enough if the main course, while still alive, consumes enormous amounts of water, acres of land and is a forced-fed animal that often lives out its life in factory farms? Is that still considered kosher? If we have dominion as opposed to partnership, then we humans are perched at the top of a pyramid. All flows towards fulfilling our needs. What we’ve become is an ego-system.

A foundational aspect of Kashrut is that it’s a spiritual development tool. There are constraints on what and how we consume. Accepting this means that our souls can benefit from what Eco-Kashrut can offer. At the JMR in October, let’s meditate on the relationship we have to those holy beings that cohabitate and sustain us in the heaven that is all around.

-Ralph Benmergui

WHAT:        34th Annual Jewish Men’s Retreat WHERE:     Adamah Jewish Retreat Center, Falls Village, CT WHEN:       October 31-November 2, 2025

It’s Time To Register for JMR34! 70 Men Have Already Registered! Space is Limited Don’t Miss Out Reserve Your Spot Now! Click on the Button Below

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Artists Wanted For Our Magazine Feature

-Artists Among Us-

Brotherkeeper Online Magazine features the artistic talents of our brothers (we want to feature all artists- professional, artisan, hobbyist). If you have creative work including painting, sculpture, poetry, prose, quilting, gardening, etc that you’d like to share, send an email to: allenmspi@theothermanofsteel.com.

Your Menschwork Wisdom Council

A Message From David Malchman, Menschwork’s Co-Chair

Community is at the core of all that Menschwork offers. We all know this deep yearning for community after our annual Jewish Men’s Retreat, where men know that continuing the connection through Jewish-themed study and discussion enlightens and enlivens our lives. For more than 10 years, Menschwork has expandeded its programming using a variety of modalities such as Mussar Study, MenschGroups, Holiday Celebrations, Mensch Day, Community Conversations, Brotherkeeper Online Magazine, and Educational Study Topics.

After the 2021 Covid Epidemic, Menschwork adapted to this ‘new’ world by starting its MenschGroups program, under the guidance of Marc Jacobs, providing men the opportunity to continue amazing conversations throughout the year. And since 2024, we have added two new ways of engaging men – we’ve had two Mensch Day gatherings, in Philadelphia and Boston, organized under the stewardship of JoJo Kottler; and we’ve offered a series of Community Conversations, facilitated by Les Fagen and myself, in bringing men together to discuss tough topics, such as the war in Israel, and how to talk about difficult topics related to recent geopolitical events.

While offering new programming, we continue to focus on our core program, the annual Jewish Men’s Retreat. JMR34 will focus on the theme of Eco-Spirituality. In addition, Menschwork is being thoughtful about how we adapt to our changing culture, while knowing that at its core, the Jewish men who participate in Menschwork programs want to gather, to have fun and to discuss important themes in their lives.

Which brings me to the next topic – Menschwork’s organizational needs. We need to evolve by generating new ideas as well as new modalities for reaching Jewish men. And we need ‘YOU’ – both the global ‘YOU’ and the individual ‘YOU’. Are you passionate about helping our Menschwork community by bringing your creative, innovative ideas into our community including expanding our outreach to Jewish men?

Please, come join us! Volunteer for a leadership job like website manager, communications director or online magazine editor; serve on a committee; or offer to serve on our Board of Directors, the Wisdom Council. It is new creativities from ‘YOU’ that we are looking for. Please contact either Michael Landau or me by sending us an email at: chair@menschgroup.org to discuss what opportunties are available. You can also fill out the brief online form (see purple button below) to tell us about your interests or to share new ideas. Todah. Thank you.

Reunion in Little Rock, AR

A Blast from the (JMR) Past! JMR19 (2010)

Editor’s Note

Menschwork wants to reach out to men throughout our Menschwork community to feature your local activities, social events and casual get-togethers. If men in your community are getting together or hosting a Menschwork event, please take some photos and send them to us. We want to know what you’re doing and how you’re staying connected!

If you would like to write an article about your JMR experience or a related topic,  please send an email to:  allenmspi@theothermanofsteel.com

Online Magazine Editor:   Allen M. Spivack

Editorial Board:   Yosaif August and Harold Belkowitz